it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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