also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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