I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
