it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
