Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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