im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
