one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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