Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
