I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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