I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
