I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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