i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
