I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
