Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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