Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize