This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
