Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  got weed?

  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.

  (206): View more from Washington

  sorry mom...

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  (206): got weed? (425): I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone. (206): sorry mom... http://tfl.nu/04mv
  Replies (157) Good night (2348) Bad night (18140)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...

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  (636): this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for... http://tfl.nu/dqoy
  Replies (17) Good night (4517) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.

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  (617): she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment. http://tfl.nu/vrz7
  Replies (56) Good night (880) Bad night (4431)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy

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  (207): Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy http://tfl.nu/f2lx
  Replies (40) Good night (4890) Bad night (2199)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

  (425): View more from Washington

  Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.

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  (206): The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies... (425): Let's let the open bar be the judge of that. http://tfl.nu/ch8t
  Replies (7) Good night (5929) Bad night (1203)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.

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  (703): Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick. http://tfl.nu/xrlx
  Replies (25) Good night (3140) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else

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  (785): Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else http://tfl.nu/imin
  Replies (8) Good night (2778) Bad night (1202)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.

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  (+44): I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon. http://tfl.nu/t0p2
  Replies (5) Good night (4825) Bad night (1600)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

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  (201): MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/cgk3
  Replies (8) Good night (3489) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.

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  (559): I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me. http://tfl.nu/4goz
  Replies (7) Good night (1253) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)

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  (209): Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar) http://tfl.nu/xy0l
  Replies (4) Good night (1616) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire

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  (734): Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire http://tfl.nu/5fup
  Replies (6) Good night (1669) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?

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  (571): Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together? http://tfl.nu/mj4s
  Replies (1) Good night (425) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious

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  (914): I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious http://tfl.nu/lv2e
  Replies (3) Good night (716) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.

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  (541): Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low. http://tfl.nu/8hxe
  Replies (0) Good night (205) Bad night (244)

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