Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
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"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
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Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual