Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf

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  (703): i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf http://tfl.nu/ymjf
  Replies (8) Good night (1219) Bad night (699)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.

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  (207): We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us. http://tfl.nu/uz8z
  Replies (10) Good night (3084) Bad night (837)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.

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  (828): proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing. http://tfl.nu/uzza
  Replies (71) Good night (20923) Bad night (1060)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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  (917): My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays. http://tfl.nu/9drw
  Replies (77) Good night (1155) Bad night (4344)
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  (845): View more from New York

  No more Irish car bombs ever.

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  (845): No more Irish car bombs ever. http://tfl.nu/mjsz
  Replies (12) Good night (3069) Bad night (1247)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

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  (757): I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping. http://tfl.nu/aea5
  Replies (30) Good night (3708) Bad night (1423)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.

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  (919): We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad. http://tfl.nu/rfuh
  Replies (25) Good night (2396) Bad night (6407)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.

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  (612): It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go. http://tfl.nu/kgh1
  Replies (7) Good night (886) Bad night (2165)
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  (760): View more from California

  The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

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  (760): The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation http://tfl.nu/2mmn
  Replies (9) Good night (1909) Bad night (1355)
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  (+04): View more from

  I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.

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  (+04): I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs. http://tfl.nu/iwem
  Replies (4) Good night (1323) Bad night (664)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things

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  (734): I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things http://tfl.nu/lt0n
  Replies (1) Good night (758) Bad night (685)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude

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  (302): Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude http://tfl.nu/fr3g
  Replies (12) Good night (843) Bad night (1474)
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  (916): View more from California

  She's not a foreskin expert like you

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  (916): She's not a foreskin expert like you http://tfl.nu/02y6
  Replies (0) Good night (333) Bad night (563)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.

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  (203): Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down. http://tfl.nu/cgfa
  Replies (9) Good night (1671) Bad night (369)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped

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  (806): Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped http://tfl.nu/37q2
  Replies (1) Good night (596) Bad night (286)

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