Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(361): View more from Texas

I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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(801): View more from Utah

The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.

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