And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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