We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i out mim tonsoeep