hotel room ftw
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
