Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
