Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
