You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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