I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
