wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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