I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
