I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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