oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
