i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
