Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
