Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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