the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
false alarm. still invincible.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
