did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize