I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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