4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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