Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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