My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize