new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
