I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
