gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
