Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
