is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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