I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's blow job season.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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