I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
