Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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