new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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