Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize