Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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