it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize