and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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