Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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