what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
