So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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