The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
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