actually, I'm a sock model
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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