I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize